The Many Viruses of Rurouni Kenshin
by paprikaSTUDIOS
Summary: A must read for Rurouni Kenshin Fans as well as Otakus. This is basically Rurouni Kenshin gone computer.


Author's Note: The original idea for this wasn't mind, but I've decided to make one for Kenshin. I do NOT own Rurouni Kenshin and just made this out of pure humor. Please do not sue me or anything. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
The Computer Viruses of Rurouni Kenshin  
  
The Kenshin Virus:  
  
This program, more like an anti-virus program than anything else, has never yet been defeated. Remains harmless until provoked, then automatically accesses whoopass.exe. This virus seems to have no other purpose than to protect your hard drive from all other virii. It strikes too quickly to be seen with the destructive files "battoujustsu.kns" and doryusen.kns". Only one other virus operates faster (See "Soujiro" Virus). The Kenshin Virus drives out other programs by feeding them line after line of redundant, annoying wholesome code.  
  
The Yumi Virus:  
  
Does nothing more harmful than let you know it there, constantly, by appearing simultaneously with the Shishio Virus. Seems to dislike the Soujiro Virus. It will keep track of how long the Shishio Virus has been at work against the hard drive. Rumor has it that the Yumi Virus started out as a harmless hentai PC game.  
  
The Shishio Virus:  
  
Comes with 10 text files (called "Kunitori01.txt, Kunitori02.txt," and so on) which explain at length how the virus will take over your computer, but as soon as the main program heats up your C: drive for 15 minutes, it self-destructs, killing the Yumi Virus.  
  
The Kamatari Virus:  
  
It's a virus...no, it's just a harmless program. No, it's a harmless program that looks like a virus. No, wait...  
  
The Cho Virus:  
  
The Hecto version is more offensive than the original. Mocks the Kenshin Virus by threatening to delete cutebaby.dll.  
  
The Aoshi Virus:  
  
Your computer loses the will to run programs, and shuts down completely.  
  
The Kaoru Virus:  
  
Causes violent computer shutdowns at random intervals, then blames the system errors on Kenshin Virus. At first, the Kaoru Virus may look dangerous, but further investigation reveals that it is quite receptive to compliments and gifts.  
  
The Yahiko Virus:  
  
Not as effective as the other virii, but tags along anyway.  
  
The Sanosuke Virus:  
  
Eats the memory on your computer and refuses to leave. Some variants include the Notaro program, which doubles the effects.  
  
The Gohei Virus:  
  
A damn virus that keeps coming back to annoy the hell out of you.  
  
The Hiko Virus:  
  
All other viruses bow before it...or else.  
  
The Shinsengumi Virus:  
  
Produces the horrible Saitou virus, as well as teh annoying Jineh program.  
  
The Saitou Virus:  
  
Attacks the computer the same way each times, but somehow frightens the C: drive into compliance. Its presence causes the hard drive to smoke heavily.  
  
The Jineh Virus:  
  
Just a front for the Enishi Virus, the Jineh Virus reminds the Kenshin Virus of its own origins as a system error.  
  
The Megumi Virus:  
  
Tries to seduce the Kenshin Virus and failing that, settles for the Sanosuke Virus.  
  
The Misao Virus:  
  
A mutant form of the "Yuffie" Virus  
  
The Enishi Virus:  
  
A virus that talks to the Tomoe Virus saying that his sister virus smiles at it (deadsister.exe). Soon it starts destroying your computer continuing to say that his sister virus smiles at him and kidnaps Karou Virus to piss off Kenshin Virus, once the Kenshin virus comes to its senses.  
  
The Shougo Virus:  
  
After the Enishi Virus development was terminated, this was created to fill its place. Completely harmless, but you find yourself wishing it would just go away.  
  
The Dosukoi Virus:  
  
No one knows where this nasty little thing came from, but popular opinion rates it much the same as the Shougo Virus.  
  
The Hitokiri Virus:  
  
Transforms the normally docile Kenshin Virus into the mother of all destructive programs. Unfortunately, the Hiko Virus puts an end to the Hitorkiri Virus by running hirameki.exe... Even the user wishes it would infect again.  
  
The Soujiro Virus:  
  
Sends happy memos about its progress to everyone in your e-mail address book as it cheerfully annihilates your hard drive. 


End file.
